I’ve grown tired of hearing the phrase “this will change your life.” It seems like every book, speaker, church leader, product, diet, or seminar leads with the same promise, with very little result.

Most of us have experienced an unplanned event that alters our view or changes our behavior, but what I’m talking about here is the one you voluntarily sign up for. The one where you know you need to change.

Changing your life means changing your behavior, which means changing the habits that led you where you are today. This can also mean challenging the influences of your parents, peers, perspective and attitude. Moving from one place to another requires new friends and a rigorous commitment and strategy.

So what exactly does it take to change a life? 

To start off, there are three non-negotiable steps that need to happen before true transformation takes place:

First, behavior change occurs by the process and interaction of your inner speech or “self talk”. This self talk will ultimately lead to change, as it requires learning how to observe your own behaviors. 

Second, you will need to start a new internal dialogue about how you see the world and yourself in the world. Your environment will give opportunities to change your behavior that you will need to seize for yourself.

Third, you will need to acquire new skills to adapt to your new self.  This is where the rigor begins, and in my experience where most people give up or fail. This last step is not easy and directly affects your behavior. Your behavior is the gap between where you want to go and the perception of what you are getting when you arrive.

As a coach myself, I am passionate about helping executives and leaders develop and drive their personal vision and become the best he or she can be.